I'm going to chalk your bizarre posting up to end-of-the-semester stress. Get off the internet and get some sleep.

Spoiler alert: Probably.

You know I normally am a fan of your work, but this just seems like contrarianism for its own sake, Colin. (That said I am not familiar with spiral ham and I am not intending to remedy that.)

Cliff Chiang's Purple Rain Batgirl cover is perfect.

I'd eat an Implanada....

Like a turtle waiting for Japan to sink so that it can swim away"

"When you're Celine Dion, you gotta spend the whole day massaging your thyroid with frozen cucumbers."

Does that mean we can censor the outdated and offensive stereotypes about women paraded through Rudolph? I watched it last year with my younger cousins and Santa/Rudolph's dad are misogynistic dickpickles. Fuck all of that noise, Clarisse. YOU DO YOU, GIRL.

When this site covers royal cake (it's happened before!) I only click the post to find the Elaine comments.

Keep it in your fridge at work until Elaine finds it and eats it while solo-waltzing around your office and eventually replaces it with an Entenman's? They don't have a castle in Europe, but they do have their own dairy case at the end of the aisle.

Nice staging. Sadly, still includes songs from Annie.

But 'Frito Pie' has been a thing for a long time. So not so much of a stretch, ... sort of. But Dorito's. They make me sad.

I don't think there's any actual chili on it, which is confusing since chili is right there in the title. I think this is the equivalent of dumping a bag of fritos on a pizza. I don't understand why you would want to do that, but if you do I think it might be cheaper to just buy a Red Baron and a bag of chips.

I saw a commercial for this just the other day. It is an abomination. It's obscene and it shouldn't be shown on television. Will no one think of the children?

Yuck! What's wrong with you? Cheese is the only acceptable flavor since they changed ranch to like, exxxtreme mouth assault ranch. And retro taco flavor, those are yummy.

That sitcom that would not. stop. shape-shifting into different universes, because the TV overlords were determined to push her off onto us. They just kept reversioning it: she's a photographer! She's a tabloid journalist! She's an ostrich that wants to bring back vaudeville!

And the Richard Pryor parody makes me realize how much I miss Richard Pryor.

I have no parent friends. I feel as if I am winning the parenting game.

My kids are teenagers now, and my word of wisdom to those of you with younger children is that the kids will change friends faster than you will. Most of the parent-friends that I've actually held onto have kids whom my children stopped talking to years ago.