"Half-naked, tits bouncing around like you're at a rodeo."

I'm glad it won't autocomplete "preggers" because I fucking hate that word and all the cutesy abbreviated versions of "pregnant." You know how some people get all skeeved out by the word "moist?" Mine is preggers. Prego. Preggie. Baby bump. Fuck all of those terms.

Chianti? Not unless it's a really special meal. If you catch my drift.

The kerning on that "awesome toy sale" text makes me want to cry. Seriously. Along with the fact that the periods make no. fucking. sense. (that's how it's done, random Target web designer).

Ugh. Then they are literally the worst.

Sultry?

Last week I had a nightmare about online dating actually. I dreamed I was looking for a new dog on petfinder and they had changed the site so the dogs could message YOU. So I made a profile describing m life and the dog I was looking for and the next day I had 200 messages from totally innapropriate dogs who hadn't…

And just like that, my frustration is defused. B/c I feel like you really listened to and acknowledged what I was saying. Weird how that works! :D

Aww! It's okay, everyone is totally fucked up and insecure!

It's perhaps straying from the point...

Attractiveness is such a YMMV thing, though. I'm sure we've all been in a "girls' night out" situation where everyone else is crushing on someone that you think is just "meh". And then the person you think is totally drool-worthy everyone else goes "meh".

How I read this article:

I first misunderstood this headline as saying that they were former groupies of Redditors. And then wondered why anyone would ever want to fuck any of the sheltered, unkempt, hairy, pit-stained, misogynist, adolescent dudebros that comprise that site's userbase.

I was born in 77 and I wore my brother's hand-me-downs and everything was pretty much orange and brown and green. I wouldn't say I liked the 70s color palette, but it is so frustrating today when I buy things for my daughter and son and all the girl clothes are pink and all the boy clothes are blue. My 3 year old…

I miss those crazy bastards and their anthem.

Can we not with the closeted jokes? She is an awful woman and a terrible excuse for a public servant and as such there is plenty to criticize without speculating on her and/or her husband's bedroom habits.

A row is an argument!

I didn't realize this wasn't a universal term. It rhymes with "cow", by the way, not "slow".

"Having an argument"

Once at my favorite coffee shop, the barista (who was/is in a successful local band) turned around to get my coffee and I thought to myself, "damn, I bet he looks great naked," and he immediately turned around and grinned at me. I was sure he'd read my mind and turned bright red. But the incident made ME grin for the…