Obviously you need to sterilize the cherry pits in your favourite vodka first.

Melanie’s fingerprints on this site will last a lifetime.

Hahaha *guy eating cherry* “I made some cherry-flavored whipped cream...” *spits cherry pit into a jar* “You want some?”

I think the straw/chopstick over the bottle is the most efficient way I’ve seen for mass pitting.

This is your brain on drugs.

I actually agree with you here. That’s why you practice. Practicing things like this sounds stupid until you mess up and look stupid.

If occasionally being a little silly is insane, then lock me up.

I always do this and people think I’m insane.

I met someone last week who when I asked her name she said, “Shelby, like Shelby comin’ round the mountain.” Corny, but I’ll forever remember her name.

But still, memorable.

Don’t be so worried about being safe. Take some risks.

Put a little effort into it. I’m sure that you could have done it better.

Even better, be able to read the room.

in reply to some of the comments here, you use what level of sophistication is appropriate for the occasion. Like most people, my everyday meals at home are grab a plate, sometimes paper, throw a slice of pizza on it.

I have a better suggestion— instead of pretending to be civilized when you’re in public places,which is bound to make you nervous as fuck, actually be civilized and practice good table manners every day, or at least regularly, so that you don’t have to fake it.

I was dining at a very fancy restaurant on the French Riviera with good friends. As the fromager rolls up the cheese cart, my buddy reaches out with his own knife to cut off a hunk of cheese. The fromager reached out and slapped his hand. F’ing hilarious.

Etiquette is not designed to make people feel superior to others. It is there to make sure everyone feels comfortable. With that in mind, it makes sense. I think people overlook this.

My mother trained me on Emily Post, but that doesn’t apply most places nowadays.

The simplest rule: Follow your host/hostess.