I was eating oysters the other day so might not be able to comment on the desirability of wet cheeseburgers.

I’ll stick with a Wimpy Bender pleaser.

You should see what a Kellogg’s Sugar Smacks Thunderbirds figure fetches on ebay these days.

Looks more like cheese rolls.

Who was the chef at Bunkington Hall I wonder?

Not Grandma Tracey by all accounts. Let me munch on something from the Jam Butty Mines of Knotty Ash while I consider the options.

The real Sweeney was rather wasteful. Far from letting Mrs Lovett make pies, he just dumped his victims in the St Dunstan-in-the-West crypt (and the resulting smell is how they caught him).

Talking of quirks, why do you mainly say “fork and knife” rather than “knife and fork”? Silver service not your forte?

I was going to say it can’t be real Dungeness crab unless it is radioactive and glows in the dark, but I’m confusing the place with the original. Still, radiation might explain this hairy crab ...

Is it called Colin or Cuthbert?

On occasion, yes. Depends on how I feel or where I am. Currently, I have a bit of a debate going with my significant other because I’m quite happy eating takeaway fish’n’chips with my fingers. If I cook it myself then a knife and fork comes into play. 

Back in the Eighties, Dr Rob Buckman, late of The Pink Medicine Show was diagnosed with an auto immune disease which was nearly fatal. He made a documentary about his and others’ experience of such conditions, Your Own Worst Enemy. One of the people interviewed was a fellow who had to eat nearly raw liver as a counter…

And you lot think cheese rolling is weird ...

Not sure how to classify that food crime,

One of the Carry On movies has a moggy known as “Cooking Fat”.

The undisputed queen of Porthmadog is Cookie. She brightens up any trip to the supermarket despite having lost a leg in a fight with a fox.

Ouch ! It’s in Knightsbridge. Hope they give London Weighting.

One small hop for can ...

An old friend had a bit of a freak out when she found the pork in beans while we were holidaying in the States. 

Beans for his tea. Evening meal.