It should be noted though that Save The Children is a genuine charity with worthy aims and achievements in child welfare that shouldn’t be hijacked by a bunch of dickheads.

I have a unopened bottle of pre-ban carcinogenic Dasani if you would like to make a bid?

Gypsy Tart? Maple syrup notwithstanding?

Spoilsport.

Dr Jekyll’s gaffe is a restaurant these days. Italian I think?

Delayed from last night. During the war, Canadian Air Force crews were stationed in my neck of the woods. Some 20 years later they used to come back for Remembrance parades, which meant that once a year we had their mascot, a bear, at the top of the road while they formed up by the Legion. Looked rather scraggy last…

Should we send you the leftovers?

The letter “l” is a consonant. So is “ll”. 

Does it work with a beer glass?

Bagels are the stale things on the end of the shelf.

Drink Canada Dry?

Gong Time! Mary Berry is a Dame.

Like I said. Deprived. Or maybe depraved.

Those onions should get together with Lesley’s potato.

M&Ms are fake Treets.

Make sure you have a pint or two of Um Bongo handy for the next episode.

So not-real Smarties, not-real Kit-Kat, not-real Milky Way, not-real Opal Fruits, not-real Malteasers ... This is a deprived nation.

Try Wilko’s 😎