I think which ever sub wrote the coverlines for this week’s Radio Times was having a bit of a laugh.

Unfortunately for Greggs staff in Cornwall their bonus is followed by redundancy notices. Satan’s franchise indeed.

You should always let Compo on the bus.

Are they trying to out-creep Doritos? Mind you, a court in South Africa decided finger sucking fingers covered in Dorito-dust wasn’t sexual harassment.

Welling springs to mind. Huddersfield was hiring last August. The one across the square near Liverpool Lime Street seems to have bit the dust but there is still a Wimpy in Birkenhead.

They will even invite you for a duck supper.

I think he preferred the bananas.

I was watching Eat To Live Forever With Giles Coren the other night where a couple who are into calorie restriction had him eating a single imaginary blueberry for breakfast.

Celebrate by buying a Gourmet Chicken Burger at Wimpy.

It looks like the wooden spoon I use to stir spaghetti.

Back at the old firm, the training kitchen was briefly equipped with a sink that could be adjusted to the user’s height. Never clear on why it was removed?

I’m pretty sure there is a bakery that makes such products as their core business.

two Glenfiddich 12 Year Old scotches ($52)

Your corny jokes post seems to have gone for a walk. This morning I was reminded of the old faithful:

I read that as sparkling water flavoured jelly beans. But now you’ve got me wondering what a jelly baby drink would taste like? I’ve already got the mug for that.

Depends if they can match the fish fingers to the prints.

Edible post-it notes?

If we’re not taking chlorine bleached chicken, I would hope we are not taking chlorine bleached veggies either.

You should have done this around Christmas to collect all the Cracker jokes.

Pour milk on museli. Stick it in the pontyping for two minutes.