And Trump wouldn’t be eligible to run under those parameters. Stupid dipshit.

I had a suspicion (now confirmed by Google) that “waterhead” is a derogatory term for a hydrocepahalic.

Hey guys - is there any room to fit “collection of menstruating waterheads” under the banner on the Jez main page? It would be a shame to lose such a quality clap-back to the ether.

Don’t forget refusing to learn how to spell, or just stubbornly ignoring autocorrect’s suggestions. “I mean ‘definately’ not ‘definitely’ you damn librul spelling software!!!”

Yeah, those were great. I guess they must think the handover happens immediately? Or maybe they just do not think.

Aww. I would have ended this post with

I think a lot of people confuse not liking saving and budgeting with being bad at it.

Dig how you explained what Big Mouth Billy Bass is, but I had to Google “Alexa.”

I would only get Alexa only if it comes with a fish

I seriously think any history of cruelty to animals should prevent you from getting a gun license. It’s been proven to be linked to hurting people later on.

although, I wonder, had he been truthful would the app have been denied?

So women looking to buy a house should just what? Cross their fingers and pray their realator isn’t a rapist?

I think we need to thoroughly reconsider who gets put on sex offender lists in the first place. Rapists, yes. People who mooned a passing car once when they were young, no. However, I think police departments also need to do a better job coordinating with each other, making sure rape kits get done when a rape is…

I was about to leave the same comment. Like even if you are the cop who liberated me from my rape prison, you’d still get the side eye for calling my 30 year old ass “little girl,” not the least of reasons being the media perception that rape is only horrifying or sad when it happens to “girls” and not “women”.

When applying for his real estate license in 2006, he explained his sex offender status in a decidedly different fashion from the crime for which he served time, essentially chalking the whole incident up to “heated fight” with his then-girlfriend, calling it a “youthful mistake.”

“30-year-old”

If I handed my kids a cup of applesauce and a spoon, they’d both look at me like, “the hell?”

It would be actually pretty funny translated to like a Kroger or Ralph’s or something. The cashier would have to be all ‘I’ve smoked those camels since I was twelve’, ‘I always buy brownie mix, bacon, and a fifth of Jameson on Tuesday at midnight with my cigarettes’.

Employees at New Seasons (our local hippie dippie grocers) seem trained to ask questions about the products you’re buying. (“Making something special?” “Oh have you tried this yet? I love it.”) To the point where I dread going there and actively avoid it. Making comments and asking questions about food and toiletry…

I appreciate when employees help me, but I don’t need 14 different workers asking me how am I doing. I know there’s mystery shops (which offer nothing of value), but jeez. The problem is certain customers love the attention. “Oh they’re so nice at _____” even though it’s all forced from top to bottom.