what are food hampers? are they gift baskets for the royals to take home? they look pretty and i want one.

“ And when objects like pins and razor blades are found, they’re almost always revealed to have been put there by friends and family “as a prank.”

Speaking of Halloween candy- when did it get so freaking expensive? Even the lame “Child’s Play” mix is like $13, the good stuff is even more.

I think I need to get back into trick or treating.

Remember kids: If someone offers you free drugs say yes because drugs are expensive.

I’d be delighted if a stranger just GAVE me some of that “candy”!

I’ll straight up out myself as someone whose ex-husband revealed, a year or so after our marriage, to have this fetish. I tried, I tried, but... yuk. I imagine your empathy would not extend to having to actually change the gigantic piss soaked diaper of a grown man on the regular.

I really want to have this attitude, but I still look at this “little” fetish thing and basically just want these people to go to therapy.

As long as your fetish doesn’t hurt other people, I don’t care. Get on the internet, go find your fetish tribe, and you do you.

Sometimes, I feel like we need more genuine hardship in this world to focus us, as a species, on more important things.

stop whatever you are doing (unless you are driving (why are you on jezebel if you are driving? (never mind, these parentheticals are getting out of control))) and watch zoolander! and as soon as you are done, buy a copy of zoolander 2, then break it and throw it away, so no one else can watch it, ever.

“Two pre-teens” ? Unless they’re 9 or under, how does that even work? There wasn’t a teen pregnancy storyline on That’s So Raven, right?

Well no the taliban did that

Obviously that is the appropriate take away. Fucking moron.

Aw, damn. As much as I despise Mike Pence’s policies, I can’t help but feel badly for anyone who just lost their pet.

I wouldn’t wish a dead dog on my worst enemy, and that includes Mike Pence. I’m glad his furbabybeagle had a long life and, unlike American women, was probably treated very respectfully by Pence.

Not sure that the snark in this title was well placed.

Poor puppy.

Your opinion is bad and you should feel bad!

My real problem with Chipotle is that their consistency has taken a nosedive. Maybe they’ve give up a lot of control to their franchisees, but in general I find that quality of a Chipotle burrito swings wildly depending on where I buy it. Which makes me just not want to bother, since if I’m going to cram 1,500…