Venus should be dead last. It’s a garbage planet that looks like Earth’s Global Warming worst case scenario.

getting hit by cassini sounds nice

Despite the accusations, this list is not an excuse to troll Pluto, which as New Horizons showed us is unexpectedly awesome. But it’s not a planet. (I enjoyed and recommend this book about it.)

[zips up]

Qualifying for the UCL is good way to get people to Qarabout your team.

To me this can only be viewed as great news, regardless of how bad the bone bruise is. Could have been a torn ACL, which would have cost us the rest of this season, the postseason, and likely most of next season.

“Sources are yet unsure as to why he prefers PSG over Barcelona, the best team in the world.”

“Anonymous source suggests Kyrie Irving will join PSG”

Kyrie Irving to Paris Saint Germain.

That’s the literally the longest 20 seconds I’ve ever experienced. Or maybe it was 5 minutes.

Stupid fucking Joey Barton.

I don’t want watch or play basketball AT ALL and I thought the same thing

Monica Seles thinks this girl screams too much.

Barry is great at covering the NHL (I still don’t get how people bitch about deadspin’s lack of hockey coverage.)

You should stop writing.

To be fair, Judge does wear #99. On the New York Yankees, that’s equivalent to setting your hair on fire and painting your burnt scalp green.

So, Westbrook to Cleland, right?

That song always gets me right in the feels anyway. Add it to a season-ending montage, no matter how relieved I am that it’s over, almost sent me over the edge.

The Nats are just incredible this year. I know we’ve seen this before, and I know they have let their fans down before, but this is it, man. It’s gonna happen. This is the year the Nats are gonna make it all the way to the NLCS.

Got into a shoving match with a guy over a ping pong game. Won the fight and the game. Doesn’t make me pathetic, it makes me a fucking champion