Thank god. The time has finally come for me to start filming my cat shakespeare videos. My cat is named MacDuff and yet no one ever casts him as his counterpart in the Scottish Play. It’s time for the discrimination to end and I guess the cat and I will have to start our own company. We will launch as soon as I can…

And I loved how Harry just started giddily fanboying all over him.

ugh, the next book can't get here soon enough.

My favorite “Santa is real” is from Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files series. Kringle is amazing...

On a positive note, the Oklahoma City Police Department’s statement on Facebook:

THESE WHITE TEARS GIVE ME THE LIFE FORCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS

hey u guyz im so sincere

yep , i write texts in full sentences

I’m about to make a very bad analogy that is simultaneously a very good analogy (if you keep in mind the differences)- because the two fields are extremely distant.

Awesome response.

It would be nice to have more than two Leia toys to give to my granddaughters...

I’m sorry, Dave.

I’ll be at Wonkette next week too, and for the first time since Jezebel fucking started (Seriously. I remember the first day.) I will not be here. Bye Gawker! You made a big mistake.

Thank you for everything, Pinkham. I will definitely follow you wherever you go, and continue to laugh, and laugh hard.

Annie Hall? Annie fucking Hall? In what way is this punch to the nutsack with a steel fist funny? Sorry, this entire list is invalid because of this poor choice.

I heard some watery tart just handed her dad a sword.

Have you heard the good news?