Nice thought but CPS is for punishing the underclass for being underclass. If anyone’s investigated it will be the victims’ parents when police notice a messy living room or dishes in the sink while taking the complaint. 

Throw out your hands, stick out your tush.

Throw out your hands!!
Stick out your tush!!
Hands on your hips
Give them a push!!
You’ll be surprised
You’re doing the French Mistake!!
VOILA!!

Come on, try it; move the scene along
Fifty million Frenchmen can’t be wrong
Wheeeeeeee!!

“Parry, parry, thrust thrust - good!”

Cold pizza is proof that love exists, and that it spent the night in your fridge waiting just for you.

They’ll take my pizza away when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.

Uhh, seriously? That’s what you’re trying to figure out? Come on Bash... that is CLEARLY a chocolate-dipped waffle cone stuck to her head to be eaten later. I mean, if I had to keep a chocolate-dipped waffle come with me at all times, that’s where I’D keep it.

Looking at homeless people IS gross but I don’t see him putting forth any solutions. Luckily I actually have a plan for that problem!!!

AHAHAHAAA! Now there’s nothing on my hairdryer trying to tell me NOT to use it in the bathtub! Freedom, suckas!! *bzzzzzzzzzzt*

I figured the butler did it. By the butler, I mean the help. By the help, I mean black people. By black people, I mean Obama. And by Obama, I mean evil shape-shifting reptilian overlords. And by evil shape-shifting reptilian overlords, I mean the butler.

Actually I believe it was Colonel Mustard in the study with a candlestick.

My food can't touch so several different bowls or a plate with clear lines so the food knows it place. Yes, I know I'm weird about food.

I buy lunchables just for the trays.

Nothing like a mug of ice cream.

I eat everything out of a bowl. They also serve as cups in my apartment.

I’m starting to think this masterpiece might have been dumb luck.

Got to reset the internet adapter. That should do it.

Just unplug it and plug it back in.

Many machines on IX . . .

Yet when I ask that question to teens on the city bus, *I* end up having to walk home.