So you’re Momma is so fat, then....

Absolutely wrong.

Well, no. Clearly. But honestly, I’ve had cops say that to me too. And that’s not hyperbole, either.

So wait...let me get this straight.

There are countless comments I’ve written on these blogs that could very suitably get a “fuck you” as a response. It’s not a good response, but I’d get it.

If it wasn’t for the story, I’d have no idea what to be outraged about. That video shows nothing...

Congrats Preston. (Jesus, really?)

I remember a time when we didn’t need nostalgia!

Yeah, here’s the thing. You know what the opposite of love is, right?

AKA The Donald Trump Method:

Ah! Ya got me....

Or use it to commute more than 10 miles to work each day.

Well, yeah.

It’s not a problem until it is.

FFS. A legitimately hotter escort will wear the wig and outfit for you for far less than 25k, and bonus, you get one step closer to letting go of your ridiculous sexual fetish.

So you know damn well he didn’t mean white or male when he said that.

But he was.

I really want to tell you there’s a sophisticated algorithm that scans suspect’s social media profiles continuously, and alerts an officer when something significant happens.

Everyone say it with me now;

I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!