Maybe someday the Deadspin staffer who claims they’re a secretly talented horse-jumper will prove it or at least give an informed scouting report, but until then, I suppose you’ll just have to watch these people run and jump like horses.

Things I learned about myself today:

I’m glad he’s ok. Elbow injuries always raise the specter of being unable to stroke dongs. 

Brutal.

When Bush was president and everyone was hating on him, you would get stories leaked out about how in person, he was kind and smart. How he was a hard worker and good to people around him.

Donald Trump is a celebrity. Probably the biggest star in the world. Very famous. People love him. Very successful. He can get to third base whenever he wants. They let him do it. He can do anything. 

Kimbark went on to say in the sworn affidavit that Spiro’s actions prevented the officer from swearing under oath that he had never made the “make shit up” comment, even though he knew he would never say that, because Spiro told him that he had the video.

As the season goes on and the Mets keep Mets-ing, this article keeps showing up on the front page.

The winner? You guessed it. Frank Stallone!

This is the real story. 

Those drivers look like they got some good training in before the big competition.

Jeter: So this is what it feels like?

I love it when the Internet is done this early in the day. Now I can focus on other things. 

As a Mets fan, I am in favor of this. 

Yes, BUT, publicly unfollowing Will and Kate got everyone within the reach of tabloids to notice the Sussex Instagram account. And they probably broke the news while the four of them were having tea or a full English or playing cricket or saying “Rah-ther” together. 

This is why I love sports radio. In one call we got:

I knew this day would come. When I had to decide between Pope Thrower and Storm Duck.

That sort of an increase is hard to swallow. 

Why is the narrative always that when GSW loses, it’s because they checked out, but they’re still obviously the better team? 

You back off thinking that’s dessert, pal. FRUIT comes from a TREE. TREES are VEGETABLES. MARSH-MALLOWS grow from the GROUND. The MARSH ground. That’s SEAFOOD.