Dear Lilly King;

I would have assumed this story was a lie until the part where you admit that your music was a mix of incubus and dave matthews. No one would make that up about themselves. Consider yourself believed.

Michael: “People love J.J. Watt, but they don’t really like J.J. Watt, know what I’m saying?”

which features Martellus saying that “NFL” stands for “Niggers For Lease”

Interesting choice - I wouldn’t want it on me. I would just give him the dollar and walk away.

I don’t return fruit. Fruit is a gamble. I know that going in.

I don’t usually participate in internet discussions, but what I’ve read here about cargo shorts is so shockingly moronic that I felt the need to speak up. Let me break it down: cargo shorts are simply regular shorts with a few extra pockets. Shorts are pants cut with a length intended to provide more comfort in hot…

The only downside of cargo shorts, besides not getting laid, is constantly catching kitchen cabinet knobs on the side of your pockets.

I get it, they don’t want controversy to distract viewers from compelling WNBA storylines like “Which two teams are these again?” and “Is that point guard the one I heard about in college in 2009? No? Ok nevermind.”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dog with that kind of thousand-yard stare.

I’ll be that guy:

Can you come do all my yard work? I won’t pay you. But the value of the education that I will give you in cutting lawns and pulling weeds will be worth far more than the money you would otherwise be earning for your time.

Regardless of race, color, or creed rule no. 1 of trying to stick in a new pickup game... Ensure you have quality shoes.

You forgot rule number one: don't be that guy who shows up half drunk, on a bicycle, wearing work boots and cutoff jean shorts. There's one at every game!

“...and sticking out your jaw because it looks intimidating when Kobe does it.”

*reads section about defense*

I’m nearly 60, and have played pickup ball since high school. Here’s my suggestions for great games:

Does the presence of Micky Aronson, Juwan Howard and Mario Motherfucking Chalmers provide any clues?

Wondo’s mom brings the orange slices for halftime sooooo

I went to a practice round of the US Open at Bethpage a while back, and I’ll never forget seeing John Daly. He was on the green, putting with one hand and smoking a cigarette with the other, all while talking on the phone, pressing it to his ear with his shoulder.