His HoF bust should have a pressure sensitive head that results in a hidden fist punching anyone that touches it.

I mean...I don’t want to judge (ok, I want to judge), but this sounds like kind of a failure of parenting to me. I’m not going to say that parents can prevent kids from liking what they’re going to like, but the fact that the kid is saying things like “you seem nice” and “I don’t know why everyone doesn’t like you”…

He had an answer for everything thrown at him, and over 13 draining rounds, he clinically beat Cooney up, bringing him further and further from land, reminding him constantly that he would eventually drown in a horrible way.

Really? You make a drug reference regarding how mellow Jamaica was and you pick Valium? JAMAICA?

That was amazing, just the absolute clumsiest transition I’ve ever read. But that’s the best thing about habitual liars: they wrongfully assume everyone believes their bullshit.

Mazzerotti Hoetell and Asston Martan Palla$$e are still at large

It’s a reference to the black, southern women who would drink tea together and gossip in the afternoon.
Also, tea = T = truth. So it’s not just about gossip, but getting to the truth, getting the real story.

Dana White is to UFC press conferences what Puff Daddy was to Biggie videos.

The joke is on McGregor! He blew all that money on a custom suit and Mayweather can’t even read it!

Was it a glorified version of a pellet gun? Did they feel so manly?

Did someone say The Crusher?

“We need a pitcher! Not an asshole sniffer!”

Although the entire “deal” was a lie. All he did was announce a bunch of things the Saudis expressed interest in, but can’t afford right now, or deals that have already gone through years ago.

It looks bad for him, because you just know that for every time he hit her, it took him five or six swings.

I clicked that Instagram post, expecting to be inundated with images of bruises and terrible things. I steeled myself. Instead, that girl dosed me with a heaping helping of crazy—eyes. Then I looked up another photo of Derek Norris: Boom, he’s got crazy eyes. I will now believe anything that either of them says, and…

Meanwhile Kitty Genovese is getting murdered in the street.

Doo wop

The last time someone conquered El Capitan by soloing, Toni Tennille got the silent treatment during the limo ride back to the hotel.

This is a terrible comment (although perhaps I’ve grown a little cynical).