Prediction!

What 23-year-old has a spare $4K lying around?

To anyone complaining about their precious fantasy TV show, I hereby sentence you to watch the final season of Dexter.

This is what is most stupefying to me. Regardless of the countless horrible opinions he spewed during the 2016 cycle, he actually convinced people that a man who has cared about only two things in his 70 years on this earth (1. making everyone think he’s rich and 2. being rich, in that order) suddenly cares deeply…

Press left on your remote for a karate chop.

“Moderately severe” is indeed an intelligently moronic phrase.

Prince Of Space 2 looking good.

If they were smart, Dasani or Perrier would snap her up as a celebrity spokesperson.

Same.

Imagine what it must take for evangelicals to convince themselves that the the most amoral heathen to ever ascend to the presidency is actually the godliest man EVER.

we’ve missed you Starz

Let me get this straight: he packed up his office, dropped off his resignation letter on the way out the door and left the building without waiting for it to be accepted? Nothing says I AM FUCKING OUT OF HERE like a stone cold walkout.

Seattle vs. Carolina AGAIN.

I used to think random username generators were dumb until one spit out MellifluousSuperdonkey.

Trump: “I have confidence that Kevin will do a great job!”

Anyone who thinks this administration will ever hold a single press conference ever again is delusional. You don’t have to answer reporters’ questions on Twitter.

In today’s mega-branded society, why would anyone just have the name of the team written on a helmet rather than a logo? Cincinnati figured this out nearly 40 years ago and went from last place to the Super Bowl when they ditched the script and went with tiger stripes.

Shouldn’t this be called the Stop Violence Against Women Act?

The dude on the far right who did nothing could have helped out to limit all the laborious switching, but nooooooooooooooooooo!

Are you trying to tell me that if you were caught dining on raw human children that you wouldn’t try to get out there and control the narrative?