I like how all you people are pretending not to understand how funding is the same thing as de-funding.

Also, the cops took them home? Doesn’t Australia have juvie? Somehow I get the feeling that a consequence-free childhood is kind of why they are the way they are.

Hey, at least she’s trying to balance out that $1.5T that her fellow anti-Robin Hoods handed out to their rich friends.

If he has a daughter I hope he names her Emily.

I was all in on Storm Duck until I saw C’Bo Flemister.

Mike Lee:actual governance::The Half Hour News Hour:The Daily Show

Lay off another 8,650 then it will perfect.

I was managing a record store (!) when JLP came out. My staff and I would occasionally play a game when youths in their teens or twenties walked in. To my shame it was very judgmental, but we would quietly whisper to each other why we thought the person was here based on the level of angst and/or rebellion in her…

Because my dog chewed up my slippers this morning, I’m calling on Kellyanne Conway to resign.

I was just thinking there is NO WAY that dunderhead is pushing an agenda that will actually benefit regular people. There has to be a money angle.

America First.

You would think it was surprising that people desperate for attention are still willing to take the tiniest nuggets of their lives that are marginally interesting, blow them up beyond all proportion and float them all out into the public sphere as an actual identity. Even though they know that eventually it will all…

Some people just want to watch the world burn.

Gorging on the new Download this week. It’s bittersweet because it’s a phenomenal record but will probably be their last since the recent tragic death of Phil Western.

Fired during a job interview?

“Underserved kids”, you know, like the hard-working go-getters who should be admitted to college instead of your own worthless lifestyle-branded spawn.

Pyromania is the No Jacket Required of rock.

Even if there are lines at the self-checkout and several human checkers are standing around with nothing to do I will always wait in line to self-check for one simple, all-encompassing reason: there is no way I will voluntarily interact with another human being if I don’t have to.

I wake up every day thinking I’ve already seen the strangest and most unlikely grouping of words in a headline.

Pour one out for my homie.