Because that's the kind of vulgar shit we don't fucking do here on Jezebel.

Can I just ask, why aren't we calling this a Dil-doh?

I'm not sure what openness and honesty has to do with creepiness. I've had several guys who I knew either not at all or quite minimally be very open, honest, and explicit about the sexual acts they wanted to engage with me in and I assure you it was very, very creepy.

If he was honest, his headline would reference that he is looking to have a sexual fantasy fulfilled, not that he is only offering a ride. To me, the main creepiness is him putting it in the wrong category, as if women should just expect to be asked to perform a sex act in exchange for a ride. What he really wants is…

No. It's creepy to want to use a car trip as currency for a transactional blowjob though.

why didnt she just go out with him?

So, so true! I'm getting a little misty just now thinking about it. And SATC is not something I spent a lot of time feeling teary over.

Her hair IS beautiful. And I will say, in the finale, when the Goldenblatts receive the photo of the daughter they will be adopting from China, and Charlotte says through her tears, "that's our baby! I know that's our baby!"...

she put a BIRD on her head for him!

Except LotR was written from the point of view of an omniscient narrator, so that's fair. However, those books are pretty much sexless, except in the sense of so and so begot so and so. The relationship between Aragorn and Arwen is actually in the appendices, it's ridiculous.

She caved later, and took me to a couple of shows that she could not have in any way enjoyed. So fifteen years later, I took her to see R.E.M., which was one of the only bands I listened to as a teenager (I was 12 when listening to Duran Duran all the time) that she found even remotely palatable. I can still remember…

First of all, thank you. And that quote is SO IMPORTANT AND SO TRUE. Wow.

Somewhat OTP, but I thought of you this weekend when I heard an NPR story about a black kid who had been adopted by white parents in Oregon in 1972. In speaking of the advice he would give white parents adopting a child of another race, he said: "Your first black friend should not be your kid."

It struck me as…

That Facebook thing (if it's true and not a web of lies) makes it so much worse. If it was just about his skin color, the explanation is, "Oh, okay, she's a racist." After that explanation, it's like, "She's a waitress who reads the comments on her customers' Facebook pages, then refers to those comments unnecessarily…

Of all the fictional detectives to choose from to try to sound impressive, why pick the teenager that solved minor annoyances rather than real crimes? I'm guessin' that this douchebro never made it past the teen lit section in the library.

Oh yeah, totally logical. When I place a to go order and they ask for a name, I'm always like, "Let me show you the facebook page of the person the order is for." Restaurants love that because it's so much more efficient than just saying, "Steve." What a wacky misunderstanding!

I remember an Encyclopedia Brown story in which it was revealed that the female character had done something because...she was filing her nails after getting out of the shower, and nobody does that!

I'm laughing way too hard at that poor otter's extremely sad afterlife. The expression on its face is everything.

The best one I found after browsing the Google.

uhhhhhhh imma need that fuckin crown right the fuck now