grew up vegetarian, have never willingly eaten meat.

I imagine that’s popular at weddings...

Yeah wow. Something I never thought twice about but is obviously an incorrect terminology.

I shudder to think what he might do for a Klondike bar.

I feel like everyone who lives through salmonella needs a safe space to share their trauma!!

Seriously though - so sorry you didn’t have insurance! We had JUST set up our plan, and I don’t know how I could have recovered without the meds.

I have to wonder, if I were to intentionally poison over 700 people, would I just get 28 years? Or would I have to convince those people to pay for the privilege of being poisoned first?

I’m Latina. It’s really hard to offend Latinos, by the way. Our comedy tends to be much worse, and yes, even racist too.

Words like “perfect” and “brilliant” are completely overused these days, so I say this sincerely: the use of that Tubman quote in this situation was both brilliant and perfect.

I triple love that her head writer is a woman. A FUNNY WOMAN hired a funny woman and they won all the awards!!! Kudos to all of them.

I told my family I was getting married “never or twice” when someone asked me if I was thinking of “settling down” while at my cousin’s rehearsal dinner. My cousin spit wine everywhere and gave me a wink of approval.

I JUST LEARNED THAT THEY SELL BEER AND WINE. I went with two mini bottles of champagne because this is nothing if not a celebration of ridiculousness.

Nah, I just have a sincere, reasonable heart that doesn’t appreciate smarmy treacle. And the “chubby” girl is like a size 6.

Cool. Mysterious. Maybe even a little dangerous? The only fashion accessory anyone should ever need.

spike42069 it is

Dear contributors to today’s BCO, I’d like you all to know that you’re the wind beneath my wings, & an inspiration to us all. I promise to skewer a troll in honour of each & every one of you.

This could get really awkward when they pass the collection plate on Sunday morning.

Oh cum all ye faithful.

*blearily stares at screen*

Being simultaneously horrified and filled with admiration is a strange feeling. I’m sorry for and proud of her, all at once.

I am also a heterosexual male