Remove and discard the front and rear bumper covers and any quarter panels if possible. A bad car is so much better when it becomes a dystopian guessing game.

When I was in Israel I kept geeking out over the sheer number of roadworthy, clean early 1980's Subaru Leone’s. My first car was a 1984 Subaru GL 4x4 and there are now mostly extinct, usually cannibalized for Brat parts. I didn’t appreciate that Subaru when I had it in high school, and seeing them all over Israel made…

I’m disappointed that the launch didn’t sound like a gigantic slide whistle.

Bought a 1988 Bronco off a friend with a blown engine for $250. It was not a particularly special Bronco. Tan on tan with tan interior. Almost zero options. Not even a tape deck. Got a second-hand 5.0 engine from an LTD wagon and spent way too much money moving over all the Bronco accessories so the engine would fit…

Living in the Virginia Beach area where there are constant traffic jams due toe people’s inability to drive through a tunnel and maintain the speed limit makes me want a Lotus that turns into a Submarine.

You might want to go find that electric Fiat soon. I’ve seen this before. It starts with “Eh, the Wrangler ain’t so bad...” which quickly becomes “The Gladiator is a beautiful truck...”

Under-appreciated? Yes.
Ahead of its time? Yes.
Outdoing other cars in terms of “Will to live”? Hell yes.
Thanks to the whole Avanti II thing, this car lived way longer than Studebaker. This thing had more will to live than David Rockefeller and his 7 heart transplants.

It looks like the firewall just doesn’t have enough space for the big round part of the booster. Whatever that box-shaped bit is seems to be taking it up. The washer fluid can be closer to the firewall without taking up as much direct space on it. The booster probably got moved that far forward because the radiator…

A Camry is more powerful than 1960's muscle.

The nostrils are a bit much. I think the Firebirds looked better from ‘98-02. I had the earlier Trans Am with the beak. Also an acquired taste, but the ‘93-07 Trans Ams looked better than the Firebirds.

That was “How to Avoid Becoming a Car Hoarder” by David Tracy.

Ran over something on the interstate in my ‘89 Firebird and after I parked, a tire went flat. Pulled out the original spare, jack and lug wrench and the factory lug wrench/lugnut key ends up being worthless. Could not loosen the keyed lug nuts at all or even get leverage. Had to call AAA. The tow truck driver couldn’t…

Must be the first prototype for the Johnny Cab.

Dude! A horn ring! How come China gets to have a new car with a horn ring?!

I’m at least grateful this guy has publicly identified himself so anyone thinking of producing a kid with him will know it’s a bad idea.

Not sure if this counts because it isn’t technically merch, years ago my father bought a Buick Riviera (1980 maybe?) and it came with a Buick-branded cassette tape that was supposed to demonstrate the sound system. Buick logo on the front, bad music on the tape.

The power windows in my 1989 Firebird have this feature. Well, no, they don’t, but they move so slowly you can totally pinpoint where you want to stop/give up-say-f**k-it-and-reach-over.

When I was in Israel, I avoided making the conversions from Shekels to dollars when I bought gas and food. That little bit of disconnect made me feel better about spending gobs of money.

Gimme that NA Miata! Headlights go up... headlights go down... headlights go up...

My 1968 Cutlass had rear air shocks when I first got it that gave it that angry muscle car stance I’m fond of. They tended to leak, though and failed within a year. I was able to get that stance by switching to stock shocks and coil springs from a Cutlass wagon. The wagon springs were a direct fit, gave me exactly the…