Guitar Center guy didn’t get it because he won’t talk to anyone who would dare buy a chromatic tuner.

I had an across-the-street neighbor who had EADGBE on his license plate. When I met him the first time, I said “You’re a guitarist?”

If I did that, I would keep shouting “I’m dropping the hammer!” every time I shifted until my crew chief wanted to kill me.

Are you watching this, Virginia?!
I once spoke to a state senate candidate here in ol’ backwards VA and asked him about getting rid of the front license plate and his answer was “All I know is I’m trying to keep the confederate flag off of it.”

Next time somebody flatlines around me and I shout GET THIS MAN A POTHOLE! somebody get video.

Wow. GM has made a truck that literally whacks itself in the balls. Such a great metaphor for how things are going for them.

Once again, Paul Verhoeven predicts the future accurately. RoboCop is real.

“...moves from 0-50 in just 9.7 seconds. And the optional 1.6 liter diesel engine is not far behind.”

CP just because I personally can’t stand the looks of this generation Focus. Headlights sweep halfway up the hood like a kid yanking his eyelids back to make a nasty face at you and tail lights on the C-Pillar just look too goofy. I’m sure it’s fun to drive, but that would mean having to look at it.

My mother is on her second Nissan XTerra and loves that truck a lot, but Nissan abandoned this market and I think a lot of XTerra owners are moving to 4Runners because it’s the only similar thing left. That’s probably what’s on the horizon on that sad day she feels ready to part with the XTerra (90k miles and counting…

Kids! The leather on those seats wasn’t gently stripped off of a milk-fed calf raised in a climate controlled luxury flat so that you could allow your caviar to just spill all over it! Use the automatic coasters for those champagne flutes or I will turn this van around!

Cold.

+NP - I had a 1991 with an L98 and a 6-Speed and while the Corvette Tax is real, that engine is old-school awesome. The LT-1 was a little too freakishly engineered for my taste. 

The one by my office senses your finger and makes a beeping noise so satisfying it’s worth hanging around a couple of cycles to do it over and over.

This cowpoke knows his cars like he knows how to measure the appropriate length for ceiling beams on his house.

I guess he got a little swept up in the action. At least we know he’s the kind of guy who tips.

As a Spitfire owner I can confirm that it is impossible to drive one without a gigantic, dumb smile on your face. Kristen is correct here. Plus now is the time to buy a Spitfire. They are basically the last of the Triumph roadsters available at an affordable price.

Just trying to distract you/compensate for that tiny little column shifter.

I don’t live anywhere near the route, but I gotta tell you that of all the rusty, well-intentioned-yet-ill-advised projects you’ve taken on this is by far my favorite and I’m rooting for you more than I rooted for any other wrencher before. You got this, man.