Pastor of Muppets's saved articles

1994: “Black people have weapons, let’s pass assault rifle bans and draconian anti-crime laws to make sure they never see the light of day as free men and women again.” Read more

“I’ve found the nest. We’re going to need a bigger boat.”

Asian giant hornets are the largest hornet known on earth, with queens able to reach over 2 inches in size. Their murderous moniker is inspired by the devastation they wreak on their prey. Though these insects can survive on tree sap, they love to munch on other colony-living insects, particularly honey bees. It’s… Read more

You have to come from money to “see the fiscal benefits of some of the Republican policies.”

I think it is a big mistake to write off the idea of Trump winning again, even in a joking way. I was not shocked he won last time and won’t be if he does again...I will be sick, depressed, maybe even suicidal...but not shocked. Don’t put too much faith in polls...

This is why Democrats lose. See also: Biden considering Republicans for Cabinet positions. Which Cabinet positions are Democrats in under Trump who had an underwhelming mandate of losing the popular vote and winning the decisive states in the EC by <1% each?

Support for Amy Coney Barrett’s confirmation has risen 18 points among Democrats Read more

“Biden is coming for your trucks” is the new “Obama is coming for your guns”.

I’m with you! One of the things I hate the most about American politics is how all-important the Constitution is in lawmaking. Read more

The company I work at has offices in China, and those colleagues have been back to work for a few months now. Basically they say most things are back to normal, they’ve had no cases at the offices. So even if the government is lying about numbers, companies seem to be operating more or less normally, which leads me to… Read more

Neutral: When there is a widely available vaccine approved by this guy

I think this is dead on. When you bundle a feature into only the basest of options, it’s going to look like it doesn’t sell. The same thing happened to the 2 door VW Golf/GTI and non-crew cab pickups. If I sold Snickers bars in a package along with a swift kick to the groin, my Snickers sales would look terrible. 

“Neutral: What Will Be Your Sign That We’re In The Clear For COVID?” Read more

My frustration is that nearly all manufacturers missed the transition from “manuals are for cheap loser cars only” to “enthusiasts with disposable income want manuals in their enthusiast cars.” Read more

Bush? Read more

I have fond memories of Mr. Rogers. I wouldn’t mind an administration of calm, soothing comfort.

All due respect to Henwick but Adrianne Palicki should be first on that list. She was actually in John Wick as Perkins and was also Jaye in the G.I. Joe sequel, Wonder Woman in the mercifully aborted David E. Kelly pilot and Mockingbird on Agents of SHIELD. She’s done her time. Give her a franchise!

“I wonder when we’re gonna start referring to rape victims as ‘involuntary sperm recipients’?” - George Carlin

Jalopnik, I’d like to request a welfare check on David Tracy.

Please give us a poll to vote on writer submissions so we can figure out how many people have kids that are about to start driving but also need to dig a trench and are also hopefully immune to tetanus.