They’d make great dog names though.

In Tucker’s defense, Jon Stewart did successfully shame him into giving up his bowtie addiction.

I do after I scratch my balls. Every. Time.

seriously: Tucker and Buckley. Whitest family on the planet.

Tucker’s the type of guy who quivers in his penny loafers when he walks down the street of a neighborhood that isn’t at least 95% Caucasian.

Dude, if you aren’t sniffing your fingers after a good fingerbang and getting completely intoxicated by the aroma I just feel bad for you. Simple pleasures of life are simple.

Okay, cards on the table: who just instinctively sniffed their own fingers?

Reviewing a Nicholas Sparks’ movie is like shooting fish in a barrel that have already been shot. But only after a long, love affair in which they wrote letters to one another that never reached each other because the mail service in a barrel is horrible.

“Been universally short tempered and testy” with reporters of all kinds. “I will have to get better at holding my tongue and holding my temper

Clearly it's dangerous, discredited bunk science built on only the most shaky evidence and extreme bigotry, but nationally ban it? Let's not do anything too rash, here.

Fuck off, Lee Radziwill. Fuck right off.

Trying to comprehend the “English” used by this Diplo guy is actively lowering my IQ. (Did that sound smug? GOOD.)

Wolvarin had to be surcumsized every 2 min.

This is MUCH better than the alternative from when Golf Digest first started running this annual feature. Back in the 50’s and 60’s, every single year the hottest thing at Augusta was a burning cross.

They gave a half-hearted apology, as companies are want to do when they are forced to ruin someone's day who didn't follow procedures. They didn't deny her a flight because they're mean. It probably could have been handled better, but she didn't have what is generally expected by the airlines. If you were to google…

My mom has Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, and is under doctor's orders not to fly.

As it’s customary in golf to report your own infractions, the creator of this slide show has already taken a multi-stroke penalty.

Damnit, after Liz Smith goes all the old Hollywood gossip columnists will be gone and we’ll only be left with trash like Perez and TMZ.

I fly Alaska Airlines, a lot. I don't really have a choice since I actually live in ... Alaska. They have always been gloriously sketchy. When I was a kid, and they were a regional carrier, they were known around these parts as "Elastic Airlines," and were notorious for leaving a minimum of 3 hours late-ish. Now they…