Furthermore, let us all be thankful that Christian Grey is not real, because the fictional Christian Grey is a creepy, abusive stalker who gaslighted and raped his girlfriend, and we already have enough terrible dudes like that in the world.

Dear Gabe,

It must be hard for you to make friends.

Parody and satire are often lost on those who are too close to the subject matter or too insecure to laugh at themselves.

I didn't watch it, but it seems from the picture that it's more like Katy Perry giving his crotch an aggressive assing.

I'm a transgender woman, and I assure that you most cisgender women in even somewhat decent health could beat me at sports. Seriously, I suck at sports. I also suck at math, and I'm very average at video games. I possess no unfair advantage over cis women in either video games or sports.

Before I went on hormone…

Those were the days. I much prefer my multiplayer to be optional as well.

Man, it'd be real nice if Blizzard made a new Warcraft game. Outside of the expanded Diablo III, they haven't released a single thing in the past eight years that's really drawn my interest. I just can't get behind their push toward making everything they release into an easily-monetized multiplayer game.

Uhm. I could have a thousand kit kats for what my computer cost but I still need my fucking computer to do my work every day (so I can buy kit kats).

Good to see that "Hey, look at these breasts! Now go play Microtransactions: The Game!" is still a hilariously effective marketing strategy.

Or, have him taken to a mental health facility.

Star Eldritch's comment if you too were sent to the school shrink for writing weird poetry. (stars comment)

Somewhere, Gabi's babysitter is thinking of a reason she can't sit this weekend.

Man, the Night Vale Elementary School has really stepped it up.

SOMEBODY IS STILL TRYING TO MANIPULATE ME