Hey, life under 45 sucks so much I'll take any goddamn thing that makes me smile for 90 seconds, up to and including sweet adorable doggos.

A shitty movie-watching companion? Says you, Clayton. I love this dog. He is a good dog and only wants to protect.

Also a classic of unintentional comedy.

It was so, so fucking funny. I'm sure it's on Youtube if you want to see it for yourself.

It's like slapping a sunburn. Somewhere out there are people who enjoy having that done to them, but they're few and far between.

That explains why my brother's never slept with anyone who wasn't a sex worker, then.

I mean, it was just so out of left field. Like an unintentionally hilarious JK Rowling "by the way, Dumbledore was gay the whole time" after-the-fact retcon.

I think I do. Thanks for the tip!

I wish, but alas, I was with friends (without benefits) at the time.

Hey, I hope you're doing well and that your family members are too. All annoyance at the backlash re: that dude aside, cancer is no joke. My aunt's had a double mastectomy because she had breast cancer twice in less than a dozen years, and just seeing how difficult her recovery from surgery was reinforced for me that…

I will never forget watching that episode and literally falling off my parents' bed because I laughed so fucking hard at that last scene.

Noooooo! I had an amazing banh mi in Philly in April and I keep daydreaming about it.

I used to do karate, and let me tell you, getting kicked in the vulva (accidentally, while sparring) hurts pretty bad. Not as bad as getting kicked in the nuts (like I did once to a guy while sparring, but in my defense he was too arrogant to wear a cup and was also an ass so I wasn't too sorry about it) but it still…

Yeah, to learn actual cooking techniques or recipes, I watch the Cooking Channel or PBS. Food Network is just for entertainment anymore.

I mean, he does have the unbelievable arrogance to tell experts that he can beat them at their own specialty food, so. It checks out.

I had such a crush on Stephanie March in high school/college and I still cannot believe anyone would be stupid enough to cheat on her.

It always reminds me of the soft spot on a baby's skull and freaks me out.

Surely it must be her obnoxious, exaggerated overpronunciation of Italian words!

You really shouldn't.

It's the douchey buzzed-sides and long top that alt-right guys have been sporting. There's no way he got that haircut by accident.