The sad part is, that quote was from her telling a story about when she was 11 and had a panic attack and the doctor gave her liquid valium...so CALM DOWN EVEN MORE.

Along the way we learn the dicks were inside us all along!

Ironic, considering it’s the sort of line that could only have been put into the mouth of a teenager by a middle-aged TV writer.

Pass. I’ve already seen the script for the Euphoria series finale:

What’s it like being “that guy”?

Now I’m wondering why I don’t have a photo of myself as a laser-eyed centaur just waiting at the ready in my Camera Roll.

ummm is it bad that i kinda want that, but for like for me and my dog...boo can chill on the floor.

Kill all millenial males while they are skewered on pitchforks.

I don’t think the stock photo hipster guy would write this. Also, “skirts?” Do jerk-men from the current era say that? I am finding this a bit too implausible even as satire.

They killed boobs and music today.

Sort of off-topic but what is the end game with these. Are you going to be 50 with these? 70? What happens when you take them out? Why are these a thing?! Someone please help me make sense of this trend, aren’t you forever stuck with big earhole flaps on your lobes!?

Um, actually, as a millennial male, I-

First Playboy stops showing boobies and now this? It’s a tough day to be a Bro, Bruh!

It’s a well-known fact that psychopaths are obsessed with pants-zipping.

“something in the environment”

It had never even occurred to me to do this to someone. Now I must hover in a totally non-weird way near my enemies, patiently waiting for the moment when their eyes become dry and they turn to me for aid.

TBH, I don’t even know why they continue to sell any variety of superglue in a bottle large enough to be mistaken for eye drops. I mean, unless you’re about to sit down and mend 4,673 broken coffee cup handles in a row, that shit’s gonna solidify into a hard little ethyl-cyanoacrylate nugget WAY before you come close…

God, it must really be awful for those creators to have a bunch of people on the internet making assumptions about their intentions and criticizing them publicly. Good thing it’s only on twitter though, imagine if there was a whole app, just for that!

Oh my god I saw like a “sneak peak” preview for this movie or something and I think he's just playing the same douche he plays in every movie. He was like I have to grow crops on Mars where nothing grows GOOD THING IM A MASTER BOTANIST or something. Like how can I take this seriously?

There’s nothing wrong with being a humanist, but saying you are in response to a question of whether you’re a feminist implies that humanism is an alternative belief system about equality of the sexes, when it has nothing to do with gender.