I can honestly say that has never appeared in any of the categories on my netflix streaming.

Sorry. My contributions to Venus’s traffic safety program have me tapped out.

Bad news, dean & delucca just got boned.

Millenials have now ruined chicken.

Where the hell do you buy boneless chicken thighs that still have skin?

I can solve a rubiks cube with a .38

Each one of ronaldos goals was seen (and paid to be seen) by more people than every one of her goals added together.

If you can only buy life insurance from the company whos tag line is ‘no matter how old you are, you can’t be turned down!’, you’re too old to be president.

Great.

Well if they don’t like it, why don’t they go back where they came from?

This is how you seperate the men from the 48 squirrels in a trenchcoat.

Your grandpa remembers...

You know what happens if you don’t eat carbs for a year?

They call me MISTER Tapp.

Are mormons even allowed to drink root beer?

But check out our new Ferrari patrol cars!

I heard it was you.

Now let’s see Bernie buy life insurance.

“establishments that are honest”

They don’t want to ‘do right’.