How has no one else posted this yet?

This comment doesn't have nearly enough stars. 

Ahem. Duck.

Stef’s “Ta-daaaaa” gesture after opening the hood sealed it. Funniest/funnest RCR owner ever. Thiiiiiis chick.

Trying not to be condescending here, but...Planet Fitness has been engaged in that business for at least the better part of a decade. There are are YouTube vids documenting (really, ridiculing) PF’s Pizza Mondays that are over seven years old.

Soooooo, a beermosa is just a shandy made with OJ instead of lemonade? Would I be wrong for just calling this an orange shandy when I make it instead of this other terminology?

Charlotte’s Web taught us this. Of course, it also taught us that spiders could also write words in their webs, and that geese stutter when they talk, so I suppose there was room for doubt when all of Charlotte’s children parasail away like the spiders in this article.

COTD

The film is plenty fine as dumb fun, even if you have no real working knowledge of stock car racing.

I am a middle-school band director, and I would be honored to play for Pop. There are no doubts in my mind that he would coax far more basketball productivity out of me than I could in regards to music productivity and the Spurs.

Anyone else remember roughly two decades ago when Caddy first introduced Art and Science on concepts, and pretty much everyone in the automotive press essentially said, “Well, this original is and creative and all, but there’s clearly no way to make this enduring and evolveable...”?

And like Marion Cotillard in Inception, this idea spread like a disease, consuming not just Volkswagen, but the entire auto industry.

Came here to post this. Stick of butter + 3 or 4 sliced onions in the crock pot on low...stir every hour or so...more low maintenance than a pet rock.

I was waiting for this inside joke. Thank you for providing. *Troy/Abed handshake*

I was considering posting that same sentiment: legitimately good people rarely (if ever) have to point out to anyone that they’re good people. Beat me to it.

That gif will never not be funny.

Congrats on a successful 2017, Patrick. Keep up the good work. I know some people in the Oppo community can be...excessively critical...but I hope you know that there’s still a large chunk of us who enjoy much what Jalopnik publishes (and when there’s something that we don’t care for, we understand that...hey, to each…

Came here to post this. Beat me to it (because it’s Sunday morning and I don’t check Jaloppo until after service, of course).

First, killer bees, now killer grass? How many more species are going to develop into aggressive mutations from our tampering with local flora and fauna?

I can’t believe I am about to be that guy, but...