Hamas is not simply viewed as a terrorist organization. It is a terrorist organization, which has refused to allow for the existence of an Israeli state. I'm not here to be an Israeli apologist (lord knows that country has some fucked up policies), but Jezebel shouldn't be a Hamas apologist just because it's a Muslim…

My dad is one of those listeners. My husband is in the military. Whenever he brings up birth control and how he shouldn't pay for it I simply remind him that he is already paying for millions of women's birth control via the military, including my own. I then make it even more personal and say how his tax dollars are…

How can feminists end up with all these abortions when they are all man-hating lesbians? I find all this so confusing.

So black women don't count as women?

It's just not realistic that Saban would abruptly pack up and leave for a sweeter deal. Thats not the kind of guy he is.

Every asshole wants a tall girl until we're towering over them in heels.

A Schiano man would've collapsed in Seattle.

I personally hate the "I heart boobies" and "save second base" taglines because they imply that people should care about preventing breast cancer because boobs are totally hot, not because it's a devastating disease. That said, this is a ridiculous use of the court's time and the school's money.

My cousin Claire is essentially a brunette version of Gwyneth Paltrow, right down to the fat-shaming, macrobiotic monomania and $200 cashmere socks. She gives out mini boxes of All-Bran cereal to trick-or-treaters in her fabulously wealthy Toronto neighbourhood, I shit you not.

"We wanted to defecate on their night," said Bosh. "We just wanted to take a huge dump on their spirits, we wanted to drop trough and explode all over their hopes of a repeat. We just really wanted to evacuate our bowels on the Dallas Mavericks."

Being the most insufferable white woman at a brunch, I'm guessing.

In my lifetime, there have been five NFL players paralyzed on the field of play

Dear Jezebel,

You know what's particularly annoying? It's hard to have a conversation about why the glut of "sexy" costumes is problematic because so many bros and prudes will assume you're on their side, which is "Stop being sluts, you stupid sluts." The same thing happens when you try to explain what was wrong with Miley Cyrus'…

I've started calling it "freeze peach" when people misinterpret it like that.

It wouldn't help as much as you think, Josh Freeman still wouldn't be able to find an open receiver

I love the variation on 'there is no White History month, so why is there a black history month?' (comparing her party to an Oktoberfest party). If I have to explain the idea of power differentials, and how history matters for current behaviors, to one more person, my head is gonna explode.

Perez has moved to New York, we learn, because he wants to surround himself with happy people and become happier himself.

Error. Error. Error. Does not compute.

I'm not sure why all my teammates loved him so much. I never really cared for him.

Are you trolling? Or are you confused about the difference between sexual orientation and sexual identification?