Forget the X-Files. David Duchovny is months-old Swiss cheese. If you want to watch our queen soar, watch The Fall instead.

Really?

All the bottles are still white, tho.

Benedict Beckeld, the Brooklyn writer in his late 30s

This kind of bullshit in-fighting is precisely why the conservatives — who, despite all their faults, are ace at holding their noses in the interest of presenting a solid front to their opponents and attaining their goals— manage to get so much fuckery done while the liberals argue about everything under the sun.

I will forever remember Carlson for getting eviscerated by Jon Stewart. It is now thirteen years later, and this is still incredibly satisfying to watch.

What a strange (yet compelling) episode of Black Mirror this is turning out to be.

Jared Kushner looks like the perfect, caring fiancé in a L&O SVU episode who is later revealed to have been kidnapping all those brunettes and dressing them up in his late mother’s clothes.

So witches float and wizards sink?

These fucking guys can’t even insult us properly.

I have a coworker who mixes a can of green beans and Tuna and microwaves it for lunch like every single day. It smells horrific. She’s not some sort health nut though, she’s like 70 so no one is going to stop her.

What’s the difference between SkyNet and Kellyanne Conway?

I’m watching the hell out of this. I’ve missed him so much since Dont Trust the B**** in Apt 23 was canceled.

If The Beek is half as charming as he was on Bitch in Apartment 23, I will give this a whirl.

Fuck all of this. Fuck everything. Idris Elba should be every Santa, everywhere.