I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me. But I will punish you all for it.

Answer to #1 is porn and the culture that comes out of it.

Clearly a hate crime.

Absolutely not. Honestly. I bet he's always a little sweaty and smells of chicken broth.

Photoshopping freaks me out

I live in SoCal and I hate Disneyland. It's unbearably crowded year round. However, my cousin who lives in Washington loves Disneyland and goes every time she visits. It's a nostalgia thing for her. And it is just her and her husband who go. They have a blast. Apparently they don't hate people as much as I do.

I didn't watch it but I just don't understand why people think Prince Harry would participate in a dating show. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. How can this happen?

I don't know, maybe he's using a bit of hyperbole. I was a high-functioning alcoholic, in the sense that I was still getting up in the morning, doing my job, and generally still functioning at life. But I was *miserable*. I felt like I was dying a slow and agonizing death. And although I was still generally performing…

I'm going to watch the shit out of this.

I think he's the SNL version of ASkars. That's what she meant.

I love that she thinks he looks like ASkars. That's my favorite detail in this story.

They rioted because they had a flimsy excuse to riot. Nothing more. Nothing less. As a teacher for eight years now, I can honestly say high school students are the most devious people on the face of the Earth. Sad but true.

When we say "new bachelorette contestants" we really mean "discarded contestants from 'Dream Phone'"

"Has been like this since Day 1, has never gone to class"

I had a couple goldfish go for a deep dive in my cleavage while driving home last night and it was a bitch trying to fish them out. So I have to agree with the difficult to manage fish problem on dates.

I always consider a meal a success if I just end the meal without food all over my tits.

This. I can't imagine the organizers had the EXACT number of medals made. I'm guessing there were enough extras so everyone who ran got one, including these folks.

I saw QOTSA last week and I still have not been able to launder away all the drool. Your friend is silly and confused.

Good to know! I'm always on the look out for teeny feet shoes that aren't legitimately children's shoes. I definitely have a pair or two with a festive butterfly or happy flower motif on the treads.