Then he’s not as speshal as I thought.

Didn’t you know Hocus I’ve been secretly controlling multiple ungreyed accounts for many months now all with the goal of stopping some random person on the internet who, through her own actions, keeps getting banned anyhow. /s

I gotta stop checking Twitter when I wake up in the morning. Stuff like this starts my day off with rage and bitterness. (I don’t follow him, I follow @UnfollowTrump which copies/pastes all his tweets so as not to give him any retweets).

Last week

The broccoli gave me side eye at dinner. But I put that little fucker down, yo!

Technically flowers are the reproductive structures of angiosperms. So...it’s like having a bouquet of plant genitalia on your counter. Fun facts!

Hi! Do it! Why not try to meet someone who would make your pulse race a bit! I survived a recent matchdotcom date and you can too.

I am SO GLAD to be home! Gah my freaking family! My parents were there of course and my father had a cold/cough and maybe he shouldn’t have been there BUT my lying, manipulative, narcissistic witch of a mother I’m sure insisted they attend. Because she would never miss the opportunity to be horrible and demand…

I have a giant stuffed deer head in the kitchen and a beaver skull.But I don’t eat either of those things either however I don’t think they’re off putting. The deer gets varying hats currently a Union Civil War cap. I just own weird things.

Hi U.K based Jessie here, my one experience of thanksgiving was awful, the guy that eventually ghosted me, left me to figure out your different from UK ovens, decided 15 mins before the food was ready that he wanted devilled eggs, at this stage I grabbed the margueritas and drank a lot.

I’ve never been in a relationship and I just turned 46. Sometimes it gets me down but I try to focus on other aspects of life. Also I never have to give up control of the remote.

It has been a rough couple of months, you guys. My beautiful doggie died, I went through breast cancer treatment, and I have been so damn grumpy that I’m alienating my friends, culminating in an actual friend breakup this week by one I really really didn’t want to lose.

“Once Alive, Now A Centerpiece” is the inscription I’m getting for the plaque that’s going in front of my future taxidermied body.

Went to our favorite Indian restaurant for lunch and now I’m baking cakes for orders. It’s just the 2 of us and I don’t cook. Although I do miss stuffing and may have to buy a box this weekend. As for the corpse, only if it was attired for the occasion. I’m totally a “clothes-on-pets” person.

This is the first year I’ve spent Thanksgiving dinner completely stoned and it is AMAZING.

When you got to the line, “I’ve been sober for over 8 months” every thing written before that exploded into irrelevance.

I’m pretty sure I’m never going to be in a relationship again and it’s starting to depress me. I also feel overall bleak about every aspect of my life. But yay, I’ve been sober for over 8 months. So I’m better. I guess.

Anyone live in the Hudson valley or a similar climate?

I hate turkey and it’s a garbage protein and Thanksgiving was invented by the turkey farming lobby to keep turkey a part of the American diet why aren’t y’all covering this?

1) yes. I eat beef while wearing leather, so...