"I get told to abort myself, or run into traffic, or jump off a building, every week. "

You hate to see a newspaper get it wrong like this. This kind of careless headline really makes you doubt their credibility. How did this front page get by the editors? I know they jam a ton of work into a tight timeline and everything, but you'd think they'd catch something so glaringly obvious—you spell "filthy"…

"It was great," said the Giants fan. "For the first time since buying this jersey, I actually felt like Eli Manning."

Fuck you Ruben Amaro Jr.

Werth: Damn, that guy's pretty good. Wouldn't mind him as my teammate.

This is a good time to direct y'all to my favorite tweet:

That's not the full email—the rest is boring stuff about family news—but I did not make it up. My dad has very hot sports takes.

Asking for advice on getting caught filming something you shouldn't have?

I don't know about this. It seems to me Brazil was the team that sucked.

I say Pearl Jam. I also like the Black Keys, you meanie.

And while you're doing that, head over to http://bethematch.org/ and sign up as a bone marrow donor. I've been on the registry for 15 years, called twice as a potential match, and donated in 2008 to cure a man's non-Hogdkins lymphoma. The donation process involved sitting back, watching two movies, and doing apheresis…

"Wow!"

Potato skin binge all weekend. For feminism....yeah feminism. It'll be a sacrifice that I'm willing to make.

Yea but this cover ain't for you, homie.

This cannot be a surprise to people.

Things That Burt Reynolds Would Look Cool Wearing