I keep expecting the NFL Films music to start up, followed by the Burger King emerging out of nowhere for the Pick-6.

Oh sure, but when RGIII leaves the game in the first quarter it's perfectly fine.

I approve of this headline.

Chloe apparently tweeted a photo of a cheese grater (which was later deleted) before the game, because Packers fans are Cheeseheads, get it?

But we were never gonna survive unless Seal went a little crazy.

INTERVIEWER: Michael, you've really taken a shining to golf in retirement. Would I be correct in assuming that we'll be seeing you a lot out on the golf course?

How's your boner, Cajun Man?

Michael Irvin also found himself in the nosebleeds last night, although his tickets were considerably closer to the field.

You see a meaningless photo, I see data.

This gives me the idea of doing another Longest Yard remake, but this time Adam Sandler gets sent to Gitmo.

I've seen substitutes go much further. Kirk Cousins actually fucked his team.

Did anyone ask the student how it compared to his regular teacher?

"This guy here is DEAD!"

Well, considering Pogba grew up in France it's not surprising that he's a good Catholic.

Strike Zone, American Waistlines Expand; Balls Rarely Seen Anymore

"It was great," said the Giants fan. "For the first time since buying this jersey, I actually felt like Eli Manning."

It's always stumpy in Philadelphia

Steeler, Cowboy, and Packer fans are like cockroaches, they're everywhere, even in places you don't think.

I'll say this.
One day we'll wake up to morning reports this guy murdered his whole family and killed himself.
Those dead, cold eyes don't lie.

hi its me Bill Simons. Yes I will write the sports stories. Thank you,