Must be related to blue balls.

Yeah, suave is decent. Of course a 2-1 isn’t going to give you chinchilla soft locks but, oh well.

Tried kids’ 2-in-1? I don’t think there’s a reason adults stop using kids shampoo other than it is marketed for kids. Like 85% of children's shampoo is 2-in-1

Didn’t Kim try to “adopt” some tween girl and the girl was like “no thanks”?

That poor octopus, it might contract some disease! My geriatric dog gets some explosive diarrhea when he eats too many Beggin’ Strips. I’ll donate that to be flung at Frump Trump.

Gross. Biebs reminds me of that one kid I hooked up with my freshman year of college who’s dick smelled like sweaty gym socks. He called himself Baby Jesus.

Right, like instead of insuring legs and bootys (ehem-TSwift and JLo) they should really be insuring their vocal chords..

“A$$$$tonishlingly Ex€€€€ellent” he means

Do not take offense, I mean this in a light hearted way but I hope your children aren’t going to be those kids that crush others’ dreams by telling them Santa doesn’t exist. Please teach them to respect other people’s beliefs.

Is it just me or does anyone else gag at overly descriptive writing? Like when a writer thinks the more adjectives they cram into a paragraph the better. It just comes off as so obnoxiously snotty. I have a friend who is a “writer” and keeps a culinary blog of sorts and I want to read it (I love reading food blogs)…

It's literally a live-action Facebook feed.

I feel her struggle, I was trying to harvest a tomato from my mom’s garden this summer and my hand accidentally brushed against another yet-unripe tomato and it fell off the vine.

This is insane.

Watching porn is how I learned to have sex. My first time didn’t live up to expectations and was actually pretty disappointing. It certainly depends on the genre of porn you watch but I don’t think all porn is detrimental to familiarizing yourself with sex.

Oooh Kim K is gonna be livid, Kristin’s brother is stealing her baby’s spotlight again!

It's like when guys leave their socks on during sex. Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy???!!

I thought of that Seinfield bit in one of his episodes where he talks about the body rejecting a hair transplant and the hairs just popping out of the head.

Yaaaaaas!

Also any woman who wants an elective abortion should have to watch 5 hours of babies being ripped out of wombs...yeah no, it’s their bodies, they should have the right to do whatever they want without anyone’s personal opinions

It’s not like and IUD is permanent so why would someone feel strangely about being almost 100% protected from pregnancy? Also, you do NOT want a pregnancy when an IUD fails. The IUD has a 0.1% chance of failure and within that 0.1% failure, you have a 50% chance of that pregnancy being ectopic which will kill you if…