I do this too and it is my biggest fear to be accused of copying someone’s accent

I’m at the airport and I saw the caption under a CNN segment about Ahmed describing him as a teen who built a “fake bomb” and brought it to school. I am never trusting CNN again. Fuck shit fuck.

Samesies, If I had infinite moneys I would have my lips done like hers. They look great!

Thus I refuse to watch homeward bound. I cried at the porcupine scene, I cried at the river scene, that was the scariest movie I’ve ever seen.

Maybe her false lashes were too heavy for her baby eyelids!

Yes! And when a guy grabs me by my upper arms, even if to just pull me aside from getting bumped into by someone else. My heart stops and not in a good way

Is he Odin? Humna humna!

My town had fireworks lastnight. It was the eve event of our annual town day festival. Poorly planned. I was embarrassed for my little town which claims to be the birthplace of the creator of Uncle Sam.

I tried that once and I had the LONGEST SPOTTING EVER. it was like 3 weeks of light spotting until my body readjusted or had an actual period.

I live most of my time since a year and a half ago out of the U.S. My doctors are all in the States and at this point I am able to visit about once a year and do my annuals then (thanks, mom’s company health insurance!) but it was stupid and complicated preordering extra refills of the pill and shipping to me so last…

Mo-Mo Mary!

Question, how many people are serious about Trump? Like I am convincing myself that people are supporting him to be ironic or haha funny and won’t actually vote for him in the end but then again this is the United States we are talking about and we are not exactly known for our smart choices.

Shhhhh...no no I like not paying for dinner! Stop your nonsense! (I always offer to pay once and if they insist I don’t argue)

My snot is black after just a day out in New York City. Imagine how long it would be to blow all the soot and dust out of your nose after Burning Man!!

So one time a few years back I fell down the YouTube rabbit hole of realistic baby dolls and I watched this 28 minute documentary about a woman who was obsessed with collecting these creepy real AF dolls because at her wedding she kissed a dove which gave her some kind of disease which left her infertile and she had…

Depends on the fart but I have been able to absorb it back into my body and dissipate until I can get to a restroom. I wonder the long term affects all that gas can do though. Has anyone done research on this? Where are the after school specials on the dangers of holding in farts?

Yeah I definitely heard this story before. Six degrees of Kevin Bacon?

I read this whole article thinking it was saying Elba was “too SWEET” and I wanted to make a joke about brown sugar then I realized the author was just calling him “ghetto”.

Here is a bomb-ass salad I recently made. A “Tuna Avocado Yukke”. Fresh tuna steak, and ripe avocado tossed in a sweet and spicy soy sauce, Korean hot pepper paste and sesame oil dressing. Garnished with strips of nori (seaweed laver, not kimye’s baby)