1) Weird take to accuse other people of colonialism.

I love vaccines. I think they’re great. I got the gardasil vaccine when it was new and still controversial. I’ve never had an out of date tetanus.

I’m in a weird feud with a neighbor bc I wear a mask in my own front yard. I think it’s modeling good behavior and they think I’m a “dumbass bitch who is scaring people into thinking it’s real”

I have posted about migraines on social media. And that I think Black Lives Matter. And I’m an avid tennis fan.

I grew up in the area and the stories people tell you if they got kicked out are BONKERS. Like you google it later to see if they were fucking with you or not bonkers. Like sneaking off campus to see a movie and hiding in a bathroom stall for half an hour bc you’re scared a monitor is looking for you bonkers.

I’m not a big Britney fan but I do recall the custody changes were bc of Jamie Spears. Dude kicked in a door and hit her son. She has reduced custody bc of her dad. I think she got a court appointed conservator bc her dad assaulted her child.

You don’t say why him working from his couch is so sad he should work at your place. So I’m pretty sure he’s 2 weeks from working from your couch if you make your house a temp office 

I once gave a baby the heimlich maneuver at a Benihana style place and got free dinner for 3 months twice a week.

You can be that woman. I even have a script for you.

Oh, I do. I’m the kind of person who always has two large boxes of dishwasher tabs under the sink. If I open the second box I buy another the next time I go to the store. You can imagine how I am with toilet paper and paper towels.

I don’t know if it’s a thing or if it’s just something our office manager made into a thing but sneezing into your elbow is a vampire sneeze. If it’s a thing, I bet the Count on Sesame Street has done a psa on it. 

Does it feel like a skinned grape on a bed of olive oil when you palpate it?

This is all wrong and feels like a Russian not that wants everyone to die and sympathize man flu sufferers.

I know the trash bucket she’s dating. He was arrested two more times while dating her and I know of three more times not involving Hayden.

We burned an entire republic and yanked democracy in three years time. We understand time is of the essence. This isn’t the first France is pro kids being exploited article I’ve read.

Those types of sports bras give me anxiety. The no hooks but there’s a timeframe while it’s sweaty that you can get it off or you’re going to be standing in the shower contemplating getting scissors to cut it off sports bras are bad enough. I don’t need to add a red or blue wire element into that equation. 

All your feelings are valid but there’s a difference between the low rise jeans I came of age with and mid rise jeans that fit and you don’t have to constantly pull up or show top of your buttcrack and low rise jeans. They’re like 4 inches higher And you never have to wonder if you need to shave your pubes.

It’s invasive and creepy that in order to get your yearly supply of birth control is getting your cervix swabbed. Especially when the guidelines are 3-5 years between paps. And even worse, pretty much every single insurance policy requires a pelvic and a pap to fully cover a well women’s exam.

Solitary confinement is torture. Especially if it’s indefinite.