No.

I once forgot my real shoes at the bowling alley. I bet it's a lot like that.

I like to think you're trying to blind everyone to save us from the coming Kinja storm. "I'd rather my babies be blind than to have to see such horrors."

*Emily Blunt shows up to set with a handgun*

If that's how you talk to your children then I suggest not talking to them at all.

Plus it was already done masterfully in Death Becomes Her.

I was just staring at her picture thinking this same thought.

Why do those people always make their God sound like a domestic abuser who's constantly tricking you to test your loyalty?

"How dare Trump sympathize with white supremacists?"
Completely agree. It's fucking disgusting and reprehensible.

Jesus fucking Christ, aren't you embarrassed to say this shit out loud? You should be.

Right? This is the modern version of a manifesto.

As a kid I saw him too. At one point he was in the audience for a trick and I prayed and prayed that he wouldn't come by us. I liked him and his tricks but he made me nervous and I didn't want him to mesmerize my mom and steal her.

That was really cute, but that's not how you shuffle cards, William!

I love/hate you for this.

Me too! LET 'EM SAY WE'RE CRAZY!

I can remember making fun of Have You Ever when it came out, but we still knew all the words and didn't change the station. I'd totally sing along if I heard it today.

Have cookies ever looked so yummy?

EW! I don't know whether I'd laugh or scream at someone if they said that!

It reminds me of teens (and sad, sad adults) who use the word sheeple. "Look at how much of a maverick I am! I use the same buzzwords as everyone else!"

You could've just said you have a small dick and left it at that. Woulda saved you some typing.