This reminds me of the time when John Lennon was asked if Ringo Starr was the best drummer in the world and he responded that he wasn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles... that person was Zlatan.

Of course Europe makes you better. Spend five minutes with anyone who studied abroad and they’ll tell you.

Rory having some Troubles I see

Ban golf.

Yeah-Jeetsbot 3000

A robot owner would probably help the Marlins more than a robot umpire.

Stan Mikita. 

Chris Bosiooooooooo

Chuck Crim

My favorite part of absolutely any Manny Machado article would have to be derailing it by listing old Milwaukee Brewers.

Jeff Cirillo

Two suggested additions: intermission peewee hockey (which I would rank separately from #24, and which imho is a top 10 event) and “jumbotron shows some iteration of the shell game” (which is always bad and yet you cannot take your eyes away from it).

Sports should just have like a Hulu subscription tier where you just pay extra and skip the Anthem and “God Bless America.” I would pay it. 

CTRL-F “frisbee dogs”

3,854,833. Splinter in tongue from using wooden spoon to eat chocolate malt. 

Let’s remember some tools:

They could have run him over with the bullpen cart.

He got hit with a ball, big woop. If you think his father, Roger Maris, didn’t go through things like this when he was chasing the ghost of the great Bondsbino, you don’t know baseball history. Robin Williams made a movie about it called, 73* (because it happened in 1973 and he needed to hit 73 big dongers to set a…

Concussing the other catcher? That’s a plunking.