Where have you been?

Tragically sober tonight. No tragedy, just soberish. I think there must be a letter limit on word length, which slightly watered down the funny.

A little geographical knowledge or team love/hate opinion would be helpful. Otherwise you'll end up with something like: derek jeter is the best shortstop ever to exist...you stupid motherfucking motherfuckers...and joe dimaggio probably had herpes too.

Just noticed the Fight Club comment - sorry about the same reference above.

The first rule of Deadspin is you never talk about Deadspin.

He's now the only guy in the country who can successfully incorporate the phrase "Nantucket sleigh rides" into his pickup lines.

Excellent.

Yeah, a bit weird. They don't need a hotel room. Unless your husband's going Four Seasons, the kid will prefer the cash.

Don't mean to douche out on you, but it's tract not track, and I'm betting on meth not booze. I'll take that bankrupt bet.

It's true. The "I hate the Heat" guys are running a pretty close second to the the bandwagoneers.

Bourne DUAN:

Agreed. Stink bugs. If you touch them your hand smells like shit for the next hour.

That fat guy high-fiving is tomorrow's opening picture.

No one expects the Little Sisters of the Poor!

That's the kind of practical advice you'll get from a bunch of clowns on a sports blog on the Saturday night of a holiday weekend.

Attack a reinforced concrete structure, then drink as much Calvados as you can get your hands on. Repeat.

Re: the commenting. I throw out about 75% of my comments before that click. And I'm still...

You kind of know the recipe, you'll be close enough. It's chicken, not meth. I promise it'll taste great. And for your next birthday, get Steven Raichlen's barbeque books.

I love dogs(not in a Korean way). My weimaraner died unexpectedly on my back porch a few years back on a beautiful summer night. It almost killed me, and I felt terribly guilty for a while because I'm not sure I'll be that upset when actuals humans that I know die.

C'mon man, what's the question?