The whole thing could have been avoided if someone, anyone!, had had a wire coat hanger to pull the drawstring back through.

@AzureTexan: That poor dog.

There must be a sale on figs somewhere.

redacted

The Year of Living Dongerously

I predict many, many pink comments in about 15 minutes or so...

@UweBollocks: It was Kenny Rogers' plastic surgery for me.

Steve Johnson has cloven hands.

Comments like that are why God can't be bothered to send his second son Alfonse to get us back on the straight and narrow.

@UkraineNotWeak: There's no Sanity Clause!

I think we need to start putting all of the "Wait, what?'s" in the "Meh" files.

Ahh..., mom.

He's right about that big New York spotlight. Every day on the back page of the Post - what? - yep, C.C. Brown stories.

@The_Night_Man_Cometh: Hey, I too have a dollar and one reader! AND I was last relevant about the time the Berlin Wall fell.

I'm just surprised that anyone noticed an article from Newsweek.

Tackle? I think the guy was just begging the kid to take him the hell out of Ohio.

Give old prolapse nose some credit. He seems to know the difference between Corth, South, East, and West.

Boy, that's an annoying song. It sounds like it was lifted from an Anthony Michael Hall movie.

@Cheeseslap spanks his ACR for being good: And they were right.

@CaliCheeseSucks: Come on guys, give him a break. He enjoys the sport, he's not on a crusade. I suspect it's tiring always drawing a line in the sand. And he could pull a toe from all that line-drawing. Possibly. Which would hurt. Possibly.