@I Like Cheap Beer: Someone's mom has a sweet basement.

@Yukmouth2: Except for the lesbian thing.

It takes him twice as long to get that shirt on as Tom Brady.

@Steve U: Unless it's an old school number that respects the game.

@Sheed's Bald Spot: Nice touch with the giant cross. She's so chaste and demure. And so poor that she can't afford a slip.

I was always surprised that some defensive line never came out with John 11:35 eyeblack.

Is that your girlfriend's hairy knee in the foreground of the picture? Or is that her shoulder?

That's a rare sighting of the self-lobotomy Boston fans give themselves when they hit puberty.

@FavreFAIL: Thanks for the "wakka wakka!"I'm stealing that and will almost certainly never give you attribution. However, will I remember where I got it from? I'll remember where I got it from.

@BruschisBrewsky: I like it! +1 to you and FavreFAIL. Now if only John Kerry would do something stupid with his seven million dollar yacht...

@ManBehindTheDesk: 55 mph? Man, my nuts seek higher ground when I hit 45.

He had to given a general anesthetic before getting that goofy tattoo.

@Murray Hewitt: Patagonia's handles are longer. They better be for the price. And then they charge you $25 to ship the thing in less than 9 business days, probably by solar truck, with no other shipping option. Good suitcase, though.

@MarkKelsosMigraine: Don't remind me. They bought the CD and I was forced to relive the whole thing twice the next day.

I do believe that's the first Phillip Fulmer reference on any Gawker site.

He's kind of like a Spanish golf- playing Kenny Powers. Yellower.

Wait - a redneck, a pear-shaped security guard, an aggressive cop, and a bottle blond? In Daytona? I don't believe it.

It actually is kind of a dick move by Contador. He better hope he doesn't get slowed down by a broken chain/loose dog/accident because Shleck will return the favor.

They're going to get laid alright. In the handicapped stall in the top of the eight inning by a guy named Bear.

@ScientificMapp: Excellent.