At my lowest worst time, I decided not to die because I was like, "who the fuck would take care of my adorable wonderful fluffy cat? And would he find me? Would he think I just abandoned him? Would anyone love him as much as I love him?" Pets can legitimately save lives.

GODDAMNIT.

I'm just going to sit here wibbling a little bit. Sad puppy. :(

New use for post-its?

I can't speak for any of the men who've been acquitted for this reason, but sexsomnia is real, a serious matter. Please don't put it in qoutes like that as if it's some bullshit non-condition.

Holy. Shit.

"Totally worth it. Would do again."

Yes, this is very real. My husband has it. (He also walks and eats in his sleep.) I thought he was just trying to get it on with me late at night until he had no recollection of it the next day. And he once told me a story from his single days of doing it to a girl he didn't know well and her becoming understandably…

No, that cat knew exactly what he was doing.

It sounds unreal, but I have actually had this happen to me.

There is a gloriously cranky woman in Philadelphia who has a bra fitting place and it's the only place I buy bras now. I walked in for the first time and she took one look at my chest and shouted "NO! At least two sizes wrong! Get in the changing room right now!"

The most liberating thing about fucking bras is taking them off at the end of the day. Underwire is the shackles of our patriarchical oppression friends. And before you say "But trudibell, I need underwire for support!" you have been LIED TO my friend, LIED TO. They have done enough with molding and lycra that…

What an incredibly romantic gesture. I wonder what song he'll go with during the reveal.

iMsorry

Where they commiserated about having to "learn" bone headed men something.

Clair Huxtable is forever my aspiration. See also Aunt Viv of Fresh Prince (Janet Hubert, not lukewarm Daphne Reid). These women were bae, mothers, and accomplished. BAMFs both of them.

Or "How to Miraculously Keep Your Prestigious Job at One of the World's Biggest Newspapers While Completely Sucking Balls At It In a Manner Akin to a Fiery Car Crash Despite The Certain Fact That There Are Probably Hundreds of TV Critics Who Would Write Better and Fuck Up Much Less In Your Position"

"The Quickest Way to Out Yourself as a Racist."

When Alessandra Stanley writes her autobiography, it should be called "How to Make a Black Woman Angry."