Tranquill wasn’t nearly close enough to the wall for wailing.

Look, Pinkham, if you’re short on submissions for Behind Closed Ovens, just say so, don’t manufacture them for yourself.

Buffalo Wild Wings’ hot sauce can’t melt steel beams

In a few weeks we’ll find out Kostek is actually 40 cans of Bud Light in a wig.

“Well, this is thoroughly depressing.”

Seriously, Deadspin, before all the snark pours in, for stories like this you should be noting the suicide prevention hotline number and other relevant resources.

Please if you are having suicidal thoughts or just struggling with depression talk to a friend or call the suicide prevention hotline. They’re there to help: 1-800-273-8255.

Of course BC elected to shave something.

I think you know. But which is which?

Whoa... the Uber drivers down under sound insane. You better run; you better take cover.

I shared this highlight with a buddy of mine who is a big Espanyol fan. I guess he thought I was taunting him, and got all pissy. I was like, hey, no need to get defensive.

“Your honor, my client clearly had no choice but to escalate the situation with chewing tobacco. The video evidence clearly shows the other driver with his hand upon his hip.”

Sorry, but a black guy getting bad reception in the Boston area doesn't qualify as shocking news

Before any Patriots fans comment:

“I shoulda gone to art school.”

How is this dumb as fuck hot take a followed commenter? This should get that status revoked.

I’ll just leave this here for now.... #slapass

Sure it would keep him quiet but only for five minutes tops for each. What does that solve?

He set the track record while driving under the influence? That’s some Dock Ellis shit right there.

Scary how that was just a typical hit. Jesus Christ.