on the flip side: youre white, over 30, unsuccessful, and not attractive or in shape.

Shots at RFK usually don't miss

Seriously, just run the FB dive, let them bring out the 11th man, and play from there. That was a fucking bush league, super disrespectful move and they got rightfully pineapple fucked for it

If you try to run a trick play while the defense plays with 10 men to honor a dead teammate, this deserves to happen to you.

Bold statement.

Colts’ bolts jolt dolts.

I can't believe that many people basically admitted that they were at a preseason NFL game.

Yeah, it’s 510-300-xxx, but I’m guessing it won’t work because I am in the hills in a place with very bad service, but please feel free to try!

Wow. That escalated not quickly.

Poor soldier, having to attend a Rams game. Hasn’t he sacrificed enough?

Police were surprised to learn that the knife was fake, as they’d legitimately believed it was real for a long time, although some of the smarter ones had had their doubts.

That is incredible. When Greg Norman collapsed on the golf course, he always had to wait until Thursday to get back out there.

Should A-Rod be charged with murder or just involuntary manslaughter?

MASSIVELY EDITED: I cowtow. I really don’t feel like getting into a debate on the internet right now and don’t believe the things being attributed to me so I will just remove the text, say ‘What is happening in this one place in India sucks!” And move on

Finally - a man big enough stand in both Constantinople and Istanbul.

“Last time I checked I was number one on Forbes list.”

Saddest birthday party ever.

If we did “mass shooter” drills in elementary schools at the rate we did fire drills, I can guarantee you we’d have better gun control laws because the apathetic parents who pick their kid up and get “We pretended there was a crazy man in our school shooting everyone today” might actually start thinking about how it…

you make good bullet points without any bullet points