I only remember where I was when 9/11 happened because my teacher kept telling us we'd never forget. I can't recall her name now.

He was hiding in the bushes for hours.

Hey, you just want fewer babies to compete with!

No, because now straight marriage is illegal!

Ugh, this kind of pandering to the commentariat leaves me cold.

Wow, you're being such a scrappybilly's grandpa right now.

What?! I can't believe I used to think you were cool!

Now the story of a wealthy family who owned slaves and the one great-great-great-great-grandson who had no choice but to keep it all quiet.

Hey, this site has been going downhill for much longer than a year!

Rough dialogue? You fat pussy!

Well, try putting on pants next time.

Shit.

God damn it, first my house gets skunked, now this?

You jest, but rural Southern Ohio is basically the South, and that's where these conversations took place. So… maybe I'm the fool.

Every conversation I've ever had about the Confederate flag:

The AV Club
We are looking for someone with pubic hair

They're going to start killing people?

I don't know, people are stuck on this Nintendo rehash narrative.

I actually wouldn't be surprised if the Wii U had fewer remakes than PS4 or Xbox One this year.

I'm just excited for all the E3 articles I'll get to read at work!