Cookie, what happened to your dialect?!

Surely he's in a hell of his own making, just like the rest of us.

I thought maybe he was referring to the writer of the article. So many possibilities!

This is what it feels like I'm doing right now. I just need a briefcase full of crackers.

Have you tried OKCthulhu?

I was just wondering if his parents were cousins as I read the newswire.

Like you've never done that.

He was just one of the 75 1/2 Prometheus screen writers.

I wonder if in the original manuscript Jon Snow giving Arya his sword was a euphemism.

You're right, it was down to comprehension — which means it was subjective. Still, I read the last book and thought, "Oh, Dumbledore was gay." I guess she could've had Dumbledore scream "I'M GAY" as he fell from the tower after Snape Avada Kedavraed him in order to avoid this argument.

Also it was pretty clear in the books that Dumbledore and Grindelwald were together.

Whenever someone adds a smiley face to a textual communication, I immediately think they want to fuck me. It has ruined countless professional relationships.

Hey, you say "tomato", I say "tomashiddloof".

I had a huge crush on her and was convinced I could perform telekinesis if I tried hard enough.

It makes them not do sick and no die. OK?

It can be both.

It's a show for the type of people who say things like, "studying for my history final, i'm such a nerd lol".

What's really sad is the character limit necessitates that these arguments are all based on half-formed thoughts, causing the devolution of political discourse to further accelerate. Thanks, Twitter!

Whenever Cooper and Audrey weren't on screen, the other characters should have been asking, "Where are Cooper and Audrey?"

What do the rules say about self-love? I'm afraid that's all I can offer.