"seatbelt restraint device"

Just once I'd like to see a mafia guy bludgeon someone to death for not laughing.

I'm actually enjoying the flashbacks, but I can agree with the criticism that they might not be the best use of the limited time the show has left. Actually, the limited amount of time they have to work with is my biggest problem with this season. That's not the writers' fault, though, and I have enough faith in…

I'd say it's mostly a factor of desperation.

There's a bully named Shannon in Home Movies.

Not a fictional character, but I once threatened to physically harm another child when he, upon meeting me, said "Oh, like Jonathan Taylor Thomas?" To this day, I stand by my inexplicable overreaction.

I've been a vegetarian for 11 or 12 years, and a vegan for about a year, and I too hate militant vegans. I also hate militant meat-eaters. I can't tell you how much shit I've gotten for being a vegetarian. I've never once preached about it — I don't really care what other people do, I just do this because it helps me…

"I carry my heart in a baboon. Do you understand?"

I need to be inoculated against that mental image.

Yeah, that'd be ideal. I had something like that from my grandma when I was younger, but the turntable was busted so I just used the radio. We ended up throwing it out in a move. I wish we would've kept it so I could restore it.

I used to think it was "The artist formally known as Prince", because calling someone "prince" seems so formal.

Shit. Well, I made sure they had free returns before ordering it. I'll probably end up shipping it right back to them.

Does it suck? I just ordered a UO/Crosley record player a couple days ago, and I'm a bit apprehensive about it. It was the only player I could find with the features/look I wanted under $300. I figure I'll throw more money into a good turntable once I have a nice sound system.

Coming next summer: Gone Woman

Pun is dead, and no one cares.

Makes sense. John Oliver is a lot like Bill Maher, except he's smart, funny, and culturally relevant.

More importantly, where in the world is Carmen Esposito?

AT&T isn't great, and they've fucked me over twice, but Time Warner is so bad in every possible way that I'm still madly in love with AT&T.

That would be amazing casting.

Like anybody wants to see a movie about that roided-up cheater.