This could work even better than the Princess Leia costume.

My mother got out of jury duty for a DUI case by bursting into tears and explaining that my brother had been injured during a collision with a drunk driver. She neglected to mention that the collision was 20 years previous, my brother's car was parked, and the injury was a headache.

And yet, still so very Yoko. It must be magical to live inside her mind.

I think "doodle" is a good option for the male anatomy nuclear option.

I love that he several times feels the need to specify that the semen is MALE semen. Because the female semen doesn't add any flavor, obvs.

I DO NOT KNOW. SO MANY QUESTIONS

I thought we had already established that the blog that broke the Duggar thing is a parody?

Yeah, me too. And I'm not really sure what exactly he's referring to as make-believe, either. Feminism? Black widow movies? College? Superhero movies in general? It just seems like more of a "yeah, this is the end of my time, I really don't want to be here, you asked me a dick question earlier, it doesn't matter…

Maximum confusion for the populace. Yes. Keep them distracted so they don't notice us turning all their children into Liberal Agender Lizard People.

Is that your suggestion for the new thing to rail against? I like it. Will it be all potato salad, or just certain varieties? If we come up with arbitrary reasons why German potato salad is OK, but Amish potato salad is NOT, we can probably secure our hold on the Methodist Pot Luck Conglomerate.

Have I declared my love for you lately? (Probably, yes)

When is the next meeting, btw? and who is bringing the potato salad? I believe that we're supposed to have a list of suggested racial slurs that we can introduce into society to later rail against, yes?

Bless Mark Ruffalo's Penis.

Excuse me? THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH. Although, granted, much of that nudity is disturbing...

I read the headline and was expecting to read about how cop cars fornicated. I am disappoint.

Yes, you are wrong. I am recently divorced with two kids. I am beyond busy. I don't have time (or a baby sitter) to go out to places where I would meet single men. And the very few single men I do meet are not necessarily looking for someone right now/able to find a way to connect/whatever. Online dating gives me…

Spaced is the best thing to ever come out of Britain. And that includes Earl Grey tea, without which my life would be a cold shell of existence.

Amen. Showing up drunk sounds like the behavior of an addict. And addicts don't get better until they help themselves. Sadly, there have often been so many aborted attempts to get them well, that by the time they really DO, genuinely, want to get better, and recognize that they have a problem, they have completely…