Quit thinking of nature as a person with a benevolent plan for all of us. Nature doesn't give a shit. It just is. We are the ones with the values, so we must do what we can to produce, protect, and preserve those values, because nature won't necessarily do it for us.

I prefer the giant geoengineering machines. I want a global thermostat.

Duck fair trade. Fair might as well be a religious concept because nothing is ducking fair. Wages for third world labor will rise as the supply of cheap labor declines, not cus some bleeding heart liberal wishes it. Law of supply and demand. The pay-me-$15-a-hour-to-cook-french-fries-pay-off-my-student…

Spoiler: the future of warfare is drones. Period. The flesshy soilder is going to be obsolete.

Funny song!

A peck is a volumetric measurement?! I assumed it was a quantity, like a mole or a dozen. Interesting.

Will that robot tell me how many pickles are in a peck?

Putin should clean this garbage up and add it to his arsenal of other outdated military equipment.

Where do you live hippie? Cus food and water is abundant where I am.

I had my DNA analyzed by Miss Cleo.

When I was a kid my bedroom was full of 2x4s.

This for fat people?

Lucky shot?

Let me guess... Via secret court order, the NSA generates Perfect Forward's encryption keys.

Brainless leftists love romanticizing solar panels. Solar panels are nothing more than a scam to collect government subsidies. Want to embrace the future of energy? It's called nuclear, idiots.

As a walrus, I am willing to do extraordinary things for others, especially those whom I love. But through compulsion I am not willing to do anything for anyone. Laws are backed by force. If you force me to do something you have wronged me. I may do what you compel me to do, but only begrudgingly, rather than out of…

Chicago pizza? No thanks.
New York pizza? Don't think so.
Totinos? Fuck yeah! It made of cardboard, motherfucker. Cardboard!

Now all those people without hands I know (zero people) can open doors. I am so happy for them. The great era of universal access is upon us. Thank you great leader.

Dude building a suspension bridge with a rubber mallet.